Read Time: 5 Minutes

It took me 2 years to write today's newsletter. The most difficult one I've had to write so far. However, also the most impactful. One that changed my life forever and can yours too.

In 2021, I was diagnosed with cancer. To say that my life fell apart is a gross understatement.

One day, out of nowhere, I found out that I had cancer. It was not a routine checkup. Yet, there I was, being informed by an unknown caller that my clock was ticking. 

Why am I telling you this story?

Throughout our life and career, there are moments when we come at crossroads. At a crossroads where we must make an extremely difficult decision. We end up at a fork in the road where we need to choose a path in order to move forward.

In those moments when you are at a crossroads, there are only two ways going forward. You either get bitter or you get better.

So, there I was. At a life-altering crossroads. There I was being informed by an unknown caller that my clock was ticking.

It took me around:
- 21 days to feel like eating again 
- 42 days to feel like talking again 
- 150 days to move around and learn to walk again
- 180 days to not question everything and feel grateful again
- 200 days to not doubt everything and start believing in life again
- 221 days to see the good in the world and start believing in myself again
- 293 days to get back on my feet, shift my focus to others and give to the world again
- 691 days to finally find the courage to share my story in the hope that I can help one or many

I journaled everything. I realized that it mattered to me.

It mattered that life didn’t happen to me but through me.

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The Problem With Unintentional Living

Most of us spend our entire lives living without intention. Most of us let life happen to us instead of taking control of what we can and build our careers and lives on our terms.

You don't have to wait to go through something so drastic as me to get that wake up call. You don't have to wait for a signal to start building your career and your life on your terms. If you really need that signal, let this be it. Let my story today be that signal for you.

The biggest problem with unintentional living is ending up with "a life of regret".

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Here are 5 Ways to Turn Your Pain, Rejection and Survival to Build Your Career on Your Terms

1. Turn Your Pain into Purpose

Growing up as a child in India, I saw my grandfather get scammed and defrauded out of approx. 700,000 INR, which comes out to around USD 20,000 at that time almost 30 years ago (with avg. rate of 1 USD to ca. 35 INR in those years).

Being the eldest of the siblings, I felt the pain. I felt I needed to do something, just didn't know what.

I grew up in the era where cyber fraud accelerated and cybercrime became lucrative. Daily, many victims and business are defrauded. I wanted to help businesses and people protect themselves. I wanted to prevent them from becoming the next cyber victim. I went on to become a hacker and a CISO, today recognized as the top 3 CISOs in EMEA. The rest is history.

In 2021, when I was diagnosed with cancer, people told me to forget and get rid of Monica Talks Cyber. One among them was one of my ex-managers. I reflected and realized that, if anything, now it made even more sense to build it further.

I got a second chance at life. I may not be able to bear kids. But I can build a community of top professionals and world-class leaders. I can build my legacy. More than 2 years ago, after I survived cancer, one day I wrote down on a paper, my long-term mission: To build my legacy. A part of that meant building world-class security leaders. That's what I am doing in July 2024 (on 10th and on 12th).

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice. Turn your pain into your purpose.

***

2. Don't Fear Failure, Embrace It

When I started applying for security leadership roles, I received 12+ rejections within a span of just 4 weeks. It took me a few days to recover from all the rejections. That included a comment from one of my ex-managers: "Stay in your lane!".

I've been told "no" a countless times in my life. Whether it was breaking into a management role in my late 20s, kick-starting my CISO career, launching my brand Monica Talks Cyber, opening my companies, and more. All that devastated me. But they didn't deter me.

The biggest regret of your life won't be your failures. It will be not taking enough risks. Not taking enough risks in your career and not taking enough risks in your life.

Failure doesn't automatically lead to us. You need to learn from it, change, and adapt. But failure is a part of every success story. The sooner you learn to embrace failure, the faster you can bounce back and continue building your career and life on your terms.

Next time you face a failure, remember, you decide how the story ends. I share all my lessons of overcoming failure, and show how to become a CISO / security leader in my new masterclass. It's now open for registrations (seats are limited as the first cohort launches on 10th / 12th July).

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3. Do Not Stay in Your Lane, Change It

Your path is unique. You can change your lane, and you can change your course, whenever the f$&k you want. Don't let anyone decide that for you. This is also true for an "elitist" industry like cybersecurity.

I am an example of the unconventional journey of an Indian-German brown girl who went from a hacker to CISO, lived in many countries, worked with and led global teams, and was recently awarded top no. 3 CISO in EMEA.

You saw all that.

But in all those years, I also went through toxic bosses (more than one), toxic ex-relationships, being warned to "stay in your lane", cancer and more. Here's the principle I choose to live by, day in and day out.

“If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.” –– Nora Roberts

If you have any experience from other industries and are looking to switch to cybersecurity or AI, let me tell you this industry is for you. Let me break the biggest misconception there is: you don't have to start at entry-level.

No matter which industry you come from, your experience matters. Chances are high that you've gained transferrable skills, including analytical skills, problem solving, effective communication, threat intelligence, crisis management, logical thinking, data analytics, risk management, project and people management, and many others, that can be translated into different roles in cybersecurity and AI / ML that are not necessarily entry level. If you have got experience, it counts.

Switch, change, and create your own lane, whenever the heck you want.

***

4. Leverage Your Rejections are Redirections

When we've got rejected, it waivers the self-belief. I have been there. We've all been there. It was damn painful to receive 12+ rejections within a span of just 4 weeks, when I first started applying to a CISO job. It was gut-wrenching, when I got warned to "stay in your lane" by one of my ex-managers. It was disappointing, to say the least, when I got told by one of my ex-employers that I wasn't allowed to open my own company.

As a result of all that, I suffered from crippling self-doubt, lack of self-belief at times and lack of control of over things that mattered.

Truth is, these feelings never go away entirely. A lack of self-belief at times is normal. Not always having control is normal. But letting it stop you is a choice. It’s your choice.

Despite all those rejections, I didn't listen to any of them. Here are 3 ways I broke my pattern of self-doubt and became a leader, despite rejections (so can you):

- Rejections are redirections - use them as your fuel.

- No one cares about you - it's OK to not be in the spotlight.

- External validation is like a black hole - don't let it suck you in.

***

5. Your Scars are Beautiful, Wear Them With Pride

While today I'm cancer “free”, it comes at a cost: an inevitable loss. One day, as I looked at my scars in the mirror, it reminded me of my inevitable loss. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I could never bear children. That was the cost. That was my fate. I hated my scars. It reminded me of my loss. It reminded me of my physical pain. It reminded me of my emotional grieving.

My life was saved, but I didn’t know how to go forward. While I got my life back, I had lost something. Seeing me cry, my partner (now husband) came to me. As I told him why I was crying, he hugged me, and told me these exact words, that I will never forget. 

“These scars are beautiful. Your scars are beautiful. You can worry about what could have been, or you can focus on what still can be.” It was the first time in my life, I realized that scars are beautiful. It was the first time in my life I realized:

When your world comes crashing down, take your time to grieve, but at the end of the day, there are only two ways forward. You either get bitter or you get better.

It's a choice. It's your choice.

How many times you've felt rejected and didn't want to go forward? How many times you've been ghosted and you felt like giving up? How many times you couldn't take the next step and you felt like an imposter?

These stories are in millions, if not in billions.

Without scars, there is no growth. Without growth, there is no success. Without success, there is no building and living your career and life on your terms. Read the full story here.

***

Reminder: Great careers are not built by accident. I want to help you 10x and build your career on your terms.

News: My 10x Security Leadership MASTERCLASS LIVE is here and OPEN for registrations. As a thank you, here's a coupon for 20% off on masterclass (limited time offer up to 20 seats only - first come first serve). Use coupon: 20XSECURITYLEADERSHIP

Is this a good fit for you?

Find out for yourself. I do not wish to offer you something just for the sake of it.

• In this masterclass, I show both aspiring and current security leaders how to take the leap from concept to effective and influential security leadership with ease, proven frameworks and tested methodologies.

• If you're ready to break into security leadership or simply tired of a mediocre career life and want to 10x in a security leadership role, but feel lost in the maze of different possibilities, unknown paths, jargons and what not, I can help.

• My 10x security leadership masterclass is designed for both aspiring and current security leaders - offering an easy, proven, actionable, step-by-step path to success.

• I'll provide you with proven templates and straightforward strategies that demystify what it really takes to grow your career 10x as a security leader. It's not just about having subject matter expertise or certifications; it's a hell lot about negotiating on a day to day basis, knowing how to manage a crisis, communicating effectively and presenting in a way that resonates with your stakeholders.

• You'll learn not only from me but from condensed knowledge from 12+ other global and highly successful security leaders providing you knowledge, framework and expertise of 50+ years combined in just a matter of few hours. Get started today.

Here's what you'll get:

✅ My entire 10x manual on how I went from hacker to security leader in just 4 years.
✅ Real insights and actionable advice from industry leaders on 'How to 10x in Security Leadership'.
✅ The 10x framework I and other global leaders have used to become effective and influential leaders with proven, actionable and no bs tips.
✅ Lifetime access to full interviews with all top 10+ leaders to look back at whenever you need them in your journey.
✅ Lifetime access to full LIVE masterclass session along with one FREE 1-1 with me after the LIVE cohort to help you create a custom plan for your security leadership journey and achieve your outcome.

***

–– Monica

Monica Verma

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Wish to 10x your career or business in AI, Cybersecurity or Leadership?

Whenever you are ready, there are 4 ways I can help you... (↓):

1. 10x Your Career: I went from a hacker to a CISO in just 4 years and continued my journey as a leader. Through many calculated risks over time, I built my career and life at my own terms and conditions. So can you. Book your 1-1 coaching today.

2. The 10x Security Leadership Masterclass: The first MASTERCLASS ever on 10x security leadership with a cumulative of 50+ years of experience from me and top 12+ global security leaders. Registrations open. Only 20 spots left for 20% discount. Use coupon 20XSECURITYLEADERSHIP. Book your spot right away if you are an aspiring and current security leader that wishes to 10x their career in security leadership with ease, proven frameworks and tested methodologies, used by top global leaders.

3. The Ultimate Guide to Break into Security Leadership: Here's your chance to become break into a security leadership role and make an impact. This Ultimate Guide is a cumulation of 20 years of experience, my journey from hacker to leader, synthesized in an easily consumable format with practical tips and tools to help you get your break and 10x your career. Join the waiting list.

4. 10x Your Business: Are you tired of talks full of jargons and sales? Do you hear to hear a lack of storytelling, engagement and clear messaging? I am a professional keynote speaker and a storyteller, helping businesses demystify artificial intelligence, leadership and cybersecurity with engaging storytelling. Excited? Learn more to book me as your speaker today or sponsor the The Monica Talks Cyber podcast show to get your message across to 30K+ audience.